Broken glass

Please tell me what I’m feeling
This hopelessness inside
It fills me up completely
I don’t know where to hide

So anxious not to hurt you
I forget about myself
Why am I doing what I’m doing?
Am I completely blind?

Please someone tell me what to do
What I’m feeling
How to act
How to handle broken glass

I only seem to screw up worse
Decide things before I know what’s true
Fuck up and leave everything broken
Thousand broken pieces
Pieces of broken glass

The Tongue Twisting Truth

I don’t know what life is all about.
I don’t know what to expect or who to believe;
People who say it’s a big disappointment
Or people who say it’s a beautiful fairytale

What I really think is that it’s all about how you look at it,
Perspective.
You can look at life like it’s a piece of shit
This miserable thing you have to get through and be done with
And it will be just that.

Or, you can look towards the future,
Expect tremendous things
And be disappointed because nothing turned out the way you planned

A third way to look at life
Is to think of every day as if it’s an opportunity to be happy.
An opportunity to make the best out of every little thing.

If you go around and expect that something amazing is going to happen all the time
You will be disappointed when it doesn’t
And simply indifferent when it does.

You have to appreciate everything
Expect nothing
And be grateful for the opportunities that you get
Because it isn’t given that you get them

It’s very simple
The ultimate hack:
If you love life,
Life will love you back.

Magic, dragons & pumpkin juice

I remember it as if it were yesterday the first time I got sucked into the wonderful books of J.K. Rowling. It is impossible to know just how many times I’ve disappeared into a world so magnificent that I from the bottom of my heart wish it was true.

Tears come streaming down my face when I think back to the days when Harry Potter and I was one. When I lived life through his head. His friends were my friends, his joys were my joys, and his sorrows cut through my heart as if it was really I who had round glasses and a zigzag scar on my forehead. Thus it was like losing a part of me the day I closed the final page of the final book. I remember how tears were streaming that day, just like they are now. Remember how I tried to read the pages as slowly as possible to postpone the ending just a little while longer.

I don’t like sharing Harry Potter with other people. I know it sounds terribly selfish, but my relationship with that magical universe is intimate and personal. Those are my books! No one can feel as attached to them as I do. The fact that other people might actually feel exactly the same makes some of the magic disappear. Makes the fact that it’s all imagination even more evident.

There will always be a part of me who wishes everything was real. I want it so badly sometimes that my body aches with a horrible ache, and it feels hopelessly hopeless when all logic tells me that it’s impossible. As if my heart and my brain are at war, and I can’t do anything more productive about it than to sit here alone in my room and cry. Over the fact that the world is cold and grey instead of warm and colorful, filled with magic, dragons and pumpkin juice.

Open Ending

I’d rather cross a raging river
Have slimy snails for lunch and dinner
I’d rather walk through nails, hot coal
Pour salt into an open, bloody wound

I could fill a book with things I’d rather do
Than trust my deepest pride with you
Watch you smother it in your hand
Until there’s nothing left but dust and sand

You hit me like a hurricane
Your kisses drove me half insane
You told me your story, I liked what I heard
You lit up my fire, then watched as I burned

I’ll admit it, okay, you were raw and wild and free
And truly more impulsive than I’ll ever really be
But also oh so fucking young and fucking immature
At first I thought you were smart, now I’m really not so sure

I wish I could throw us ever meeting up
Get the poison out, make this feeling stop
I didn’t show me at my best, but trust me
The real me would pass any test

We ended like a crappy movie
It wasn’t happy, it wasn’t groovy
Who knows what happened or what we learned
Now the candle is cold and the flame won’t burn

It is currently chewing me up from inside
So in order to regain some peace in my mind
I truly wish you all of the best
Let’s put this open ending to a final rest.

 

© Emma Jøsok 2016

Me & You

I’ve had enough of this
I’m fed up with this dish
It’s time for all of you to show some respect
Stop acting like the world has really, really bad breath

It’s time for me to make a change
Kindness has gotten me nothing but pain
Am I the last good person standing?
Where the hell are the rest of you lying?

What does it take to get a smile?
Some kind words
An open mind
It’s not even worth a try!
Look, there’s yet another douchebag,
Just passing by

Me, me, me, me
Shut the hell up!
The universe does not revolve around you
You ignorant little duck

Me, me, me, me
Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
I hope you forget your umbrella on a rainy day
HAHA, your hair will get wet

I’ve been a good person all my life
But no one has ever rewarded my style
Nerd, wimp – innocent boring little good girl
Fuck that, I’m done with you all
It’s time I started saying the things
I’ve been wanting to say all along

Me, me, me, me
Shuuuut up.
I hope when you drink your morning milk
It‘ll be all sour and lumpy and stuff
Haha. That’s real disgusting
And you just drank it all, there’s nothing left.

Me, me, me, me
We get it – it’s all about you!
Tell me, how has your day been?
I’m dying to know – what did you do? 

You are a bunch of sad individuals
Within a species that has lost its pride
So focused on how your appearance is like
You forgot you have something inside

My hatred has grown for you all
You are rude
You are mean
And your shirt does not go with that tie
I’d tell you to smile
But it really hasn’t helped me either
So why the fuck even try

Me, me, me, me
Aren’t you all sick of the sound of that too?
I think it’s high time we all started focusing
A whole lot more about you.

 

© Emma Jøsok 2017

Star

You’re just as flawed as I am
You’re just able to hide it better
I’m done hiding
I wear my zits with pride and use my body odour like you do Dior
We’re all imperfect mortal souls who want it all
Food, sex, love, intellectual and spiritual fulfilment
We wanna feel like we’re the main character in this nonsense life musical
And who’s to say we can’t be just that?
Run around the stage freely like uncontrollable cats
That’s what I’m gonna do, and I dare you all to stop me
When the audience starts clapping I’ll leave the building
You’ll wonder where the star went
I’ll be way up above you looking down with an arrogant grin
Knowing no one will ever reach me
I’ll be attached to the night sky, up where no one has ever been

I don’t care what happens
I don’t care who tries to stop me
I’d rather die than live like most of you do,
Untruly.
What are you all so afraid of?
Of losing?
Of dying?
Of being the joke at Matthew’s on Friday?
Let ‘em laugh, and do whatever the fuck you wanna do
Soon we’ll all be dead and no one will even remember you

I’m not saying this shit to make you underachieve
Thinking man fuck it, the couch is the place to be
Because if you really knew yourself you’d know that won’t make you happy
To lie around all day getting fat and totally flappy
Stop staying put in your place waiting for life to happen
And slowly start improving upon your crappy situation
No one is gonna carry you to win that goddamn trophy
So get off your ass and start wiping it yourself
It’s time to take responsibility for yourself, don’t expect the world to help
But if you don’t feel like it, what the hell do I care?
I’ve got my own life to live, your happiness is in your own hands
I don’t have time for this, I’m out of here, but don’t mope
If you ever wanna see me again, go acquire yourself a telescope.

 

© Emma Jøsok 2017